By: Craig Walker
Ever seen a circus performer or a YouTube video of someone furiously keeping multiple plates spinning? It’s an impressive display of skill and hustle. Yet, even the pros can't sustain that level of hustle indefinitely. Eventually, they must end the act.
If you've watched such feats, you might relate to the exhaustion of trying to keep all the plates in your life spinning:
Your marriage plate
Your parenting plate
Your career plate
Your Christian plate
Juggling your responsibilities is draining. But what if there was an easier way? What if there was a way to excel as a spouse, parent, employee, and Christian and have life feel light and easy? There is, and the key is to accept yourself.
Acceptance over Seeking Approval
You were made for God’s good pleasure. So, you are hard-wired for His approval. Therefore, nothing else will satisfy the longing of your soul. Isaiah wrote, “Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them” (Isaiah 43:7, NLT emphasis added).
Seeking Approval
It’s natural to put your best on display when you are seeking approval. And it’s natural to hide those parts that you fear others will reject. I know. I did it!
I discovered that I was a decent fighter, so I took up boxing. I have some glorious moments from back in the day. I won the Indiana State Boxing Championship in my weight class, and I won a gold medal in the Jr. Olympics. Once, when I was a young fighter, I got matched with a guy who was the Golden Gloves Open Champion. The “open” class is as high as you can go in Golden Gloves. When my coach saw who I was scheduled to fight, he told me I wasn’t fighting. I told my coach that it wasn’t an option. My dad and my girlfriend were coming to the fight, and I wasn’t backing out because I might get beat. My coach gave in against his better judgment and let me fight. I destroyed the guy and received my club's Outstanding Fighter award. I didn’t win because I was a better fighter. I won because I was fighting for my life. I couldn’t lose with dad and girlfriend watching. My approval was on the line.
But the problem is, we are hardwired for God’s approval, so nothing but God will ever make us feel that we are good enough.
When people don’t get what they thought they would get from doing what they are good at doing, they’ll have to up their game. That’s where work-a-holism comes from. That’s where perfectionism comes from. And that’s where exhaustion comes from. One client confided, “I was exhausted, and I had lost sight of my own identity.”
When these things fail us, we resort to embellishing, taking credit for other people’s achievements, cheating, people-pleasing, addictions, and all sorts of other bad things.
It is embarrassing to admit that I took my fighting outside the ring. I would fight anybody, anywhere, at any time.
But what do we do with those things that we think others will reject?
We hide them. We withdraw, make excuses, blame, and pretend, we’ll even lie.
We’ll do anything to avoid having our weaknesses exposed. I quit boxing after I spared a guy who was a real professional fighter. I realized I had two problems. I couldn’t hit him. And I couldn’t keep him from hitting me. I told a friend, “He had the fastest hands I never saw.” When I realized boxing wasn’t where I would get my approval, I quit.
Seeking approval is destructive. It can lead to anxiety, anger, jealousy, depression, addictions, abuse, and even suicide.
Accepting Approval
What difference would it make if you could accept yourself? You could forget about spinning plates and relentless hustle. Life would become light and easy. Jesus said,
“For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:29–30, NLT).
When you have nothing to prove, anxiety and depression fade away, along with envy, jealousy, and conflict. So do lying, excuse-making, blaming, and the need to take credit that belongs to someone else.
Imagine the difference it would make in your marriage, your parenting, and even your career if you accepted yourself the way God accepted you. Imagine having nothing to prove to anyone.
No wonder A.W. Tozer said, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."
If you accepted God’s approval, you would discover the freedom to be yourself, and that would change your life.
Choose Acceptance
Stop looking at yourself from a human point of view and look at yourself the way God sees you.
He sees you as His work of art. Before God created the world, He imagined you. “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes” (Ephesians 1:4, NLT).
He calls you His work of art—His masterpiece. And He created you anew in Christ Jesus, so you can do all the good things He had in mind when He made you.
You are not a mistake. You are a masterpiece. You are not even ordinary. Have you ever seen an ordinary masterpiece?
My friend that would be a game-changer for anyone!
On February 14, 2014, I made a choice. I chose to accept myself the way God sees me in Christ, and that choice set me on the path to experiencing life—life that is light and easy.
Now it’s your turn. What will you choose?
If you think coaching might be a fit for you, let’s talk. Schedule your free coaching call at craigwalkercoaching.com.
AUTHOR
Craig Walker
Craig Walker is the founder of Craig Walker Coaching, where he helps men struggling with self-doubt discover that God created them as masterpieces. After years of battling self-doubt and shame-based living, Craig discovered freedom by embracing the identity God gave him in Christ and living according to who God says he is rather than who his doubts told him he was. Craig spent the majority of his ministry as a pastor and church planter. Craig now resides in East Texas with his wife, Debbie, and has six children and a whole lot of grandchildren. He is the author of Shameless: The Life You Were Born to Love.
This life changing book will help you:
Release the shame that keeps you stuck.
Embrace your true identity in Christ.
Step into the life you were born to love.
Silence the lies that tell you you're not enough.
Walk in confidence, knowing you are fully known and fully loved.
Experience the freedom God intended for you.
WANT MORE . . . ?
If you enjoyed this article, you can schedule your free coaching call at craigwalkercoaching.com
Order your copy of Shameless: The Life You Were Born to Love
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